Newfoundland

Once again, my apologies for the drought. I have been in Newfoundland.

Here are some things I learned while I was there:

It is a serious pain to get there from here. Long bumpy flights, stupid connections, airports under construction.

Newfoundlanders are seriously fun. Seriously.

Newfoundlanders speak some dialect of English that often requires translation for us westerners.

There are 1000 varieties of chowder. Most have extremely large scallops in them. Fresh out of the ocean. Nothing like it in the prairies.

A partridgeberry is a tart berry and is in everything in Newfoundland, as is Screech.

Newfoundland is a rock with many different kinds of elevation, most of it steep. The little shape on top of that rock is Signal Hill. I tried to run up to it but got half way there and found myself gasping for air in someone's yard so I turned around and went back down. Turns out you actually have to go through someone's "gairden", complete with laundry on the line, to get up to the monument. And they don't recommend the tourists walk it - too steep for the flatlanders. They don't like calling the ambulance up there to resuscitate the heart attacks. It tends to get the laundry all dirty again.

It is really hard to run up hills. Pretty sure my car would end up backwards in the ocean if I had to drive it anywhere on that island.

A puffin is a cute little bird with a beak that turns orange in mating season and which makes little burrows in the hillside. It also mates for life and gets about 10 seconds of lovin' a year.

I do not seem to be one of those people who has the anti-seasickness gene. Something that it takes a prairie girl 37 years to find out. Fortunately, I also lack the puke-the-second-I-step-on-a-boat gene.

1 metre waves, called "calm" by the locals, are as nasty as a roller coaster ride that never ends. People go out in rougher seas for weeks at a time? What a way to make a living!

I also learned some interesting things about being a better oncology nurse which was really the whole point of the trip, at least for the people paying for it. I made some new contacts. I took home some good ideas. I might actually be ready to go back to work Monday.

I learned my family is capable of ticking along just fine without me... which is a very good thing to file away for future reference.

Physics

Yesterday I learned that it takes approximately 5-10 seconds of driving at 30-40 km/hr to cause a 1 litre water bottle which is approximately half full to fly off the roof of a car. I also learned that making a "mental note" to retrieve the water bottle from the top of the car does not actually guarantee that the water bottle will be secured inside prior to the car moving. I did not learn exactly how unsafe it was to stop the car in traffic to retrieve the (probably smashed) water bottle because I used my powers of deduction to figure out that it might be inadvisable to do so. And also I didn't need the rush hour motorists to have an actual person to laugh at. The faceless bonehead driving the red Civic was plenty.

Besides, it was one of the poison water bottles. I'm saving myself and my whole family from testicular cancer.

Hey, when you look at it that way, I'm a freakin' hero.

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Today I learned that my grandfather's earthly remains have been brought here from Thunder Bay where they were since 1984. He is now resting under his headstone in a lovely, sunny spot in a cemetery near here. Will have to bring the kids to see it. It has been 24 years since I have seen my Gramma this happy. It's a good day.

Connections

I learned yesterday that the term "pork barrell politics" means a political decision that will benefit a particular politician's constituency while the cost is borne by all. Sound familiar?

See? I am already learning things in my new course.

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On another note, I am reading Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult, which is raising all sorts of interesting ethical questions for me, as her books usually do. It's about a boy who is bullied mercilessly all his life, who walks into his high school one morning and shoots it up, killing students and teachers. It's told from the perspective of the boy's mother, a popular girl who used to be his friend, and the girl's mother. It's giving me a little insight into being the parent of a teenager in this day and age, which seems, I must be honest, a lot different than when I was that age.

I don't remember ever caring if I was one of the popular kids (I wasn't). I never worried about peer pressure or being bullied (I wasn't). Maybe I was one of the lucky ones who was never affected by either, or maybe Ms. Picoult has used a little literary license to make her character more sympathetic. Either way, even in my own kids, I have rarely had an inkling that the bullying she describes is happening, either to or by my kids. I have been told by other families that their children have had some rough times at the hands of other kids, but not much beyond that. Are we lucky? Is the book fiction? Or is there a little time bomb waiting to go off in our school too?

Either way, I'd like to think I would know if my kids were involved on either end of torment.

Now this is all a segue into a little conversation I had with Aimee this morning which probably would have been utterly insignificant if I hadn't been reading this book. Aimee starts school choir today, which is comprised of kids from all schools in the division. She needs to be dropped off at another school for practice this evening. I received a call this morning from the choir director asking if I would be willing to take another kid from Aimee's school as well, since he doesn't have a ride. I agreed. When I got off the phone, I told Aimee what I had agreed to. For the tiniest moment, a look like I-can't-believe-you-did-that-how-could-you? crossed her face. Oh, no, I thought. She's thinking no one at school will ever speak to her again if she's seen with this kid.

"Is there a problem?" I asked, trying not to sound defensive.

She thought for half a second, and said, "No", and continued on with her morning, monologuing her plans to connect with this kid and meet me outside the school at 3:30. There was really no problem. Jack seemed to have no opinion either way.

It might be that stuff other kids say just doesn't bother her, or maybe she is truly a kind girl at heart. Hopefully she's both - strong enough to withstand pressure and kind enough to know the right thing to do. In any case, I hear that her kids her age, especially girls, start getting really nasty to each other. I'm watching for it, but so far I don't see it. Hopefully if I do, we will be able to nip it in the bud.

I understand kids need to try out personas to find out what fits, but I feel sorry for those kids who latch onto people and identities that are not good for them. Makes you a little nervous as a parent - how easily they can tip over to destructive behaviours just to feel connected.

Makes me want to quit my job and be a stay-at-home mom some days.

Eyeballs

Apparently the assertion that you learn something new every day is false, because I haven't learned anything worth posting about in the last few days. I have had previous assumptions confirmed (for example, we have a very naughty dog, the inside of the shower curtain is disgusting, wasp stings make little girls cry for hours, gas is stupidly expensive, I like vacation, things like that), but nothing really interesting that was truly new.

However, today I did learn something.

I learned that my corneas are low average on the thickness scale. I went to have an assessment for laser eye surgery and that's what they told me. I am booked for December. That piece of knowledge, as far as I can tell, is relatively inconsequential - it doesn't contraindicate the surgery, but might determine which kind I have, PRK or Lasik.

That's about it. Oh, I learned that my new course will be a fair amount of work and slightly boring but not horrible. And there's a group project - which sucks. I picked this one because previous iterations of it did not involve a group project, but they've obviously changed it. Group projects never serve the purpose the instructors want them to serve - they only irritate those with a good work ethic by forcing them to deal with people who have a poor work ethic. I always learn more about how to mitigate the effects of the stupidity of others on my grades than I do about the actual subject matter of the project. Oh well, I guess I'll suck it up and get it done. Six more to go.

I want cookies. Think I'll teach Jack how to make some for me. It's like the goose that laid the golden egg... or is it that teach a man to fish parable... either way, maybe he'll make his momma cookies whenever she wants them.

Construction

Today I learned there are no practical, simple, attractive ways to hang bookshelves from drywall, unless you build something yourself, and even then there are no guarantees (that it will be either simple or attractive).

I also learned that a #8 screw will split 5/8" MDF if you don't drill a deep enough pilot hole.

I would have just hung the shelves from metal straps with brackets but Trevor thought it would be too ugly. And unless you are willing to construct and paint/stain/varnish some architectural masterpiece, floating shelves won't hold anything heavier than a vase. So we (Trevor) constructed. I will post pictures when they are mounted. And when they crash down, along with 1000 lbs of books onto my laptop, wherein is stored my thesis.

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It was the kids' first day of school today - both were so excited that it was a major challenge to get a picture without Jack looking like a dork. He insisted on wearing a tie to school - over a shirt 3 sizes too big with tiny skulls on it, but a tie nonetheless. I will also post a picture of that.

I'm off to nurse my aching muscles - workout #2 with the personal trainer yesterday has left me unable to climb or descend stairs without groaning and clutching the bannister like an invalid.

Think wine would help? I'm about to try it - maybe that will be tomorrow's lesson.

Wildlife

Yesterday, I learned that we have a spider living in our kitchen window, between the sliders. It has made a lovely web all over the place.

Ick.

Its days are numbered.

So far today, I have learned that the damn dog ate a roll of toilet paper. Maybe he was trying to use it to get the poo off his foot - or off the floor where he tracked it in from outside... not that he is smart enough to be that considerate...

Again, ick. This is why the 5 second rule has become the "ew-gross-it-fell-on-the-floor-throw-it-out" rule in our house.

Wattle

Sorry for the absence - the weekend got in the way. I have a couple of days to catch up on.

Friday, the thing I learned was the name for the flabby wattles under the arms of most women over the age of 15. You know what I'm talking about - the flesh that wobbles uncontrollably whenever you wave at someone. Well, apparently it's called a Hi Helen, as in "I'm going to the gym - I've gotta get rid of my Hi Helens". It seems it comes from ladies who eave at each other over the garden fence, with blatant disregard for the resulting shockwave.

Hey, maybe Hi Helens are why the Queen has such a prissy, half-assed little wave. Maybe she's just afraid the vibrations from her Hi Helens will shake her right off her seat. There, I just learned something else. The Queen and I have something in common.

I wonder what those pockets of padding where the top of my leg meets my bum are called. I've heard them referred to as saddlebags, but that is even less flattering than Hi Helens and I am compelled to come up with something better. I'll keep you posted.

Just for reference, the little bulge under one's belly button is called the "lovin'", and the bulge that folds over the top of your low-rise jeans is called the "muffin top". And just so you know - muffin top is not good. If you have it, your pants don't fit right. Muffin top is the reason that very few people should ever wear low-rise pants. It's in the same category as visible butt crack.

I must have taken a break from learning things this weekend because I can't come up with anything else right now. But since I'm on holidays, I am committed to continuing to learn something every day. I make no promises that it will be useful knowledge I gain, but it will be knowledge...